Have you ever gotten yourself in a situation that you didn’t want to be in all because you didn’t say no? I’m sure we’ve all been there. I know I’ve been there multiple times. I’ve been out later than I planned to, stuck, and broke because of a few yeses. Once I realized that some requests were becoming a habit, I had to shut it down. Not just because I didn’t want to help, but because being used ain’t EVER it.
I am one of the most helpful people that I know. If you need my help in any way, I’ll stop what I’m doing to help, if I can. But what about those times where I knew I could help, but I didn’t want to. Most times, I would suck it up and help because I would feel bad about not doing it. Then I would end up in a bunch of stuff that I didn’t plan on happening all because I didn’t dare to say no. NOW?!?! Hahaha, I’m quick to say no with no explanation (that’s the key). It took some time for me to get to this point, and now that I’m here it feels so so good.
That ‘No’ will keep you on track; sometimes it’s okay to help where you can but to do that all the time slows you down on your tasks. It also sets boundaries in your life. Think of it like this: would the person you’re about to help, help you with something significant your working on, without hesitation? If you answered yes, congratulations, you’ve got a reasonable person in your corner. But I know we all have that one person (you probably thinking about them right now lol don’t worry I’m right there with you) who’s quick to ask for help, but not as ready to help.
Learning to say no to that person won’t hurt you or them. It will only help them. My mama has always told me, “not helping someone IS helping them. You are helping them become less dependent on you”. Since that day, that saying has always stuck with me. It helped me also to realize that I don’t have to be Captain Save Somebody all the time. It really is okay to say no, I promise. You owe it to yourself.
99.9% if you say no, that person will find a way to get whatever they needed to be done, without YOU!
Now if they have the nerve to ask why can’t you help, know that you don’t have to explain yourself to anybody. But if you do catch yourself doing it, you don’t have to lie your way out of it (been there done that lol smh). Your “no” lets people know that you respect yourself. You won’t allow anyone to walk over you because you’ve said yes before. Stand your ground. “I just don’t want to” or “no” will do perfectly fine.
Be mindful; I’m not here to tell you to start saying “no” to any and everybody, but to know when its best for you and not feel guilty afterward. Don’t start going off at work telling everybody no because “Jonice said so” lol. Outside of work in your personal life, know when you’re helping someone or being a doormat!
Try saying no real soon, and let me know how it goes. I’m all ears.
Remember, NO MEANS NO in any situation!!!
Enjoy your weekend & be safe
See you in the next one
Xoxo, Jonice 💕